Welcome To My World! (originally published in 2015)

Hello and welcome!

Come on in, pull up a comfy chair and let me explain to you what this blog is going to be about; are you comfortable? Then I will begin.

To really welcome you to my life and for you to come on this journey, I’m going to have to be personal with you and I’ve been told I can be an over-sharer so hold onto your pants while I take you on a tour of my life thus far, so you can better get to grips with who I am and more importantly where I am at the present.

I’m 29 and I am a single mum, I came from a broken home that was abusive on my fathers side, I have experienced abuse across the spectrum for most of my life, I have and do suffer from depression, anxiety and have traits of borderline personality disorder (BPD). I have suffered from self harm and addiction. I still suffer from body image and I constantly question my abilities as a mother. I tell you this not to garner sympathy but simply so you understand with my full meaning when I tell you I am a survivor, I am determined and I go to bed every day with the hope I can be better tomorrow. I am not a super hero, I have down days, I doubt myself, I wonder if I’m screwing my kid up, just like every other person and parent out there. I do however believe in creating my own reality and not letting the will of others scupper my go at life. I also have two things a lot of other people don’t, I have the absolute knowledge of what I want to do and I have the work ethic to match it. I will be what I choose to be and through that determination, hopefully set the right example for my son. A quote I love is,

‘If you love what you do, you will never work a day in your life’  – unknown

So there’s a snapshot into my past. To the present, I am lucky enough to have a wonderfully supportive family and a small but glorious group of friends because no man’s an island and if you want to make it in this business, scrap that, if you want to make it in this life you need your support crew, cheering you on!

So where am I know, well career wise after 7 years out of drama school I finally have an agent and let me tell you, it was worth the wait! He is so dedicated, honest and genuine and I couldn’t ask for a kinder soul to help and guide me through this business. We recently had a discussion about my ‘package’, I have been represented by him since February and so far no one has booked me, the ‘package’ is not working, so that’s were we are heading at the minute, sorting out my headshot, CV and showreel (like a visual CV, showing potential employers what you can do) and also going through and sorting out promotion material. My personal life? I am single and for the time happy to be that way, I am focusing on my beautiful boy and my career. My son? He’s almost five and about to start ‘big’ school in September a move I am both excited for (more free time for auditions and jobs) and terrified about (I am losing him to school until he is at least 17) I love him with more passion and heart than I thought humanly possible before I had a child. He has honestly made me a better mum and actor and with him on my side for constant inspiration, I’m going to be unstoppable, he’s the reason, he’s the why. I will show him that dreams are possible if you work for them.

So in the weeks and months to come, I will take you with me on my journey, successes and failures as a person, mum and actor. It will get personal and stories will be shared, I should say that I will mention no one by name as this is my choice to share and other people have their right to privacy. So if you want to come with me, there is plenty of room in the car but please buckle up because safety first and its going to be a crazy ride!

x


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