What I’ve learned in a week of generous behaviour and allowing error.
I think we are in a wonderful age for a lot of things, we can connect to people on the other side of the world with a click of a button, we have a world of knowledge in the palm of our hands but with this freedom also comes the oppression of instant gratification. With everything offering ‘rush orders’ or easy game level-ups with shiny digital treasure as rewards, I think it’s easy to lose the gift of prudent thinking and behaviour. We surrender our long-term rewards for immediate satiation. I can be guilty of this, I want everything now, I want all skills mastered like I was hooked into the Matrix. I hit the button, I want the prize but it rings hollow after a while. What I have learned this week by being mindful of my resolution to accept failure is that I want to sprint the marathon.
I am a workaholic and a perfectionist, in check these things can deliver great results but uncontrolled they can lead to incredible indecision and also stagnation. If something has to be perfect it will never be ready and you can never progress. I found this week that I want too much too soon and I push myself way too hard. I don’t eat right, I sleep about 4 hours a night and within two days I had crashed and burned and spent a lot of the rest of the week battling a migraine.
So I sat myself down and we had a conversation. I realised my speed and haste were the very things slowing me down. I was fitting sleep and health into my schedule instead of the other way around. Without my brain rested, my body fed and watered and a healthy time to do things for the joy of life, I couldn’t keep the impossible pace I set for myself. I also realised that loading my plate too heavy for one meal instead of spreading it out was a form of self sabotage, a way to slip back into victim mentality.
I decided instead, to take a step away from the non-stop pace I had scheduled for myself and take some time for me. I faced my fear of being out in public by myself and I went stag to the cinema to watch Michael Fassbender be an assassin (He takes his shirt off and to be honest I think that’s the universe giving me a gift for being mindful this week.) I had an amazing meeting with Steve about a project we are collaborating on and most importantly I did myself the kindness of reflecting on my fumbles this week and I realised one very important thing. If it’s worth doing, it’s worth doing right and with a pace that honours the project. In essence the best way to go fast is to go slow. To get my rest, my family time, my nutrients and my ‘me’ time. Working hard isn’t about who can get there the quickest with as many things as possible. It’s about respecting your needs first so you can give your entirety to what you are passionate about. If I keep sprinting, I’ll keep burning out and I’ll keep needing to start over, if I pace myself I won’t suffer fatigue and I’ll reach my goals so much faster with my soul and heart nourished.
I hope everybody is having a fantastic start to 2017 and know that if you are struggling, things can improve, change affects everybody.
until next time,
Be kind to others, be kind to yourself.