Just as a forewaring, I think I have hit that level of tiredness when you *slightly loose your mind.
You know when you are exhausted and you still have some non-negotiable deadlines to hit and each thing is going to take a hot minute to do, so you sit there and stare at space because you can’t contemplate how in the name of Zeus’ butthole you are going to get through it and while you are sitting there staring into space, silently pleading with the universe to help because you because just cant. Then you start to try to think of work arounds like, If I go to sleep now and get up at 4am I could still do that one thing and then I only have to do that other thing tonight and while all this is going on in your head an hour and a half has passed and you have done jack? That’s me right the hell now, I’ve been struggling hard today with juggling, being a mum, being an actor, being a blogger, being in the 28 plays later challenge, being in the ’10 things’ project, dealing with personal appointments and running errands. It has been a lot!
Oh crap I forgot to call my mum today and let her know how the audition went, two secs, be right back…
…Ok, spoke to my momma, she says hi and she loves me and is proud of me, so that’s nice 🙂
Anyway as I was saying the struggle has been real today, let me break it down for you:
6am: Woke up, Breakfast, morning routine
7am: Little man gets up, I make him his breakfast, get him ready, washed, teeth brushed, dressed, pack his bag
8am: Had a quick bath, washed my hair, got my self dressed and ready
8:45am: School run with wet hair (classy)
9am: Went to the pharmacy to pick up my prescription I had requested on Monday and had just ran out of yesterday, so in desperate need of. Pharmacy cannot find the prescription. Pharmacist calls my Dr, the have no record of the original request. Pharmacist sends urgent request and specifies for it to be picked up at the Drs so there is no chance of it being lost.
10am: Home, dried and styled my hair
10:30: Ran my lines to make sure I was a 100% prepared and ready for my casting later. Get paranoid about my prescription.
11am: Rang my Drs to check on the progress of my prescription, they had no record of the request from Boots and I had to explain the whole situation all over again, the receptionist put in an urgent request to the Dr, I specified twice I needed it to be a paper prescription so there was no chance of it getting lost in the system. Receptionist explains to me the Dr will not get it until at least lunchtime, so I need to wait a few hours, we agree I will pick it up after 2pm
11:20am: Continue with my last bits of line running.
11:45am: Steve arrives to take me for my nail appointment (which is a 40 minute drive away) I know it seems a bad time to have had my nails done but I chronically pick at my skin to the point of my fingers bleeding and getting infected (Yeah it’s as gross as it sounds) and the only way I have found to stop it is to have false nails and as it was my audition I wanted to have nice hands and it was the earliest I could be fitted in.
12:30pm: Had my nails done, this was lovely and relaxing.
2pm: We drive home to pick up the prescription, the Drs had sent it electronically to Boots (RAGE)
2:40pm: I go to the pharmacy, they can’t find my prescription on file, I wait for ten minutes for them to scour the NHS for it, they find it but had a problem with their system and couldn’t download it, to print it. Which meant they couldn’t issue me my prescription. They print out the bar code number of my prescription and tell me that if I take it to any other pharmacy they can download it and issue it.
3pm: In the car I lose my shit slightly and Steve steps in and tells me he will get it sorted and I can home and finish my prep and get ready.
3:10pm I finally manage to eat my lunch.
3:30pm I do my make up while my sister drills lines, we also marvel at the irony of the anxiety the medication situation is causing me, as the medication I need is for my anxiety.
4:15pm Baba gets home and I get dressed and check I have everything I need in my bag.I I spend a solid three minutes of quality time with him.Steve gives me my prescription. I run upstairs and sit on my bed, take my meds, breath and run through my notes for the casting. My baba asks me to not to go and I have to tell him, ‘Mummy has to go but you can wait up for me, I’ll be back before bedtime’ which in no way rips me in half.
4:45pm: I leave for my train, get it with thirty seconds to spare (this is why I always leave a buffer train that will still get me there fifteen minutes early)
4:53pm: On the train, do a safety run of the lines, go through my notes again.
6:30pm: My Casting, which I was really happy with. Also The Spotlight offices have had a refurb and they look amazing (They have a drawing of Benedict Cumberbatch as Sherlock on one of the lifts, I mean come on!)
6:54pm: Train home, I do a few breathing exercises to rid myself of everything. I then deal with a lot of emails and admin.
7:45pm: Home, scoff a bowl of cereal for dinner. Do Babas homework and snuggle for twenty minutes watching TV, he tells me I’m the bestest mummy ever, FACT.
8:20pm: Babas bedtime routine.
8:45pm: I stare into space.
9:30pm: Coffee. I start writing this blog.
9:45pm: I realise I haven’t called my momma.
10pm: My FitBit informs me its time to relax and recharge –
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!! (I hope that cam across as maniacal, as that’s what I was aiming for, if you imagine me not blinking the whole time, it might help) I compose myself and I continue writing and we are now all caught up.
Its been A DAY, its had wonderful moments, anxiety inducing moments, lots of hangry moments but above all I’m exhausted and I havent even started on my play yet.
So in conclusion, day two of being a writer has shown me that it’s not easy, a deadline is a deadline and life is life and you had better find a way to fit both in! My way is coffee apparently! So now at 10:27pm I am going to go and start researching mythology because that’s todays inspiration prompt.
I dearly hope wherever you are you have had a less balls to wall day! It kept me on my toes though that’s for sure and it has affirmed to me that I want to do this because when there have been so many reasons to throw in the towel, I’ve found a way, not an excuse.
Be kind to each other, be kind to yourselves.
P.S it is now 11:04pm