28 Plays Later: Challenge 4 (Just Like Me)

So today, I had to write a monologue as a performance poem, or beat poem. If you’ve not heard one before, I highly recommend googling ‘Tim Minchin Beat Poem’ he has two that I am aware of, ‘Storm’ and ‘Mitsubishi Colt’ both hilarious. Lots of people write and perform beat poems on subjects they are passionate about. It is an entire art form and the people who do it are incredible.

Mine is… well I tried! I wrote it and recorded it, which is also on this post. This is definitely the challenge that has stretched me most so far and it’s only day four, so I’m sure its only going to go up from here haha.

 

Just Like Me.

Samantha Frost

4th February 2017

 

 

I’m sat minding my own business

Drink in my hand, chai tea,

That’s when she sees me, tall, elegant from the pages of vogue

And she knows

She sees me sitting alone book in hand, praying to god she’ll leave me alone

But over she strides

Her heels high, the ego she’s not trying to hide,

‘Hi babe!’, she says in voice so forced, it would give a Jedi reason to pause

I look up, now there’s no escape, I’m in her trap, her vapid maze

‘Hi’

I say trying to keep the trembling in my body from my voice

She speaks again, with even more force

‘I need to tell you, cos I care, you know I do, that ever ones concerned about you’

I try to force a smile to match her own, but my hearts on my face and I want to go home

She continues,

with more pace, her voice now filling this place

Children with mums, and couples on dates, stop what they are doing to look

I just want to erase

myself from the earth, so I don’t have to listen to this girl

‘Cos no one’s seen you in like weeks and there’s no updates on any of your feeds

You can tell me Hun, I won’t say a word, is it your ‘thing’ again’

I’m combusting, in my head I scream

‘my thing’

you mean my  mental illness, the thing that steals me

And holds me under water, so that I can’t be

A friend, a lover, a sister, a daughter

The thing that makes me crave self-slaughter

I’ve been trying for weeks, I say in my head, to get up the strength, to leave my bed

To put on my shoes and a smile on my mouth

Instead I look to her and nod my head

‘I understand’ she with says face full of glee instead of dread

‘You see, I have depression too, I’m just like you

Yesterday my bracelet came

And you know what?

They misspelled my name, I told them three times over the phone its

A not e in Joan

But it arrived and there in brushed gold was a fucking e

She continues to moan

And FML I had anxiety too, can you believe

When I didn’t hear from Steve,

He said he’d, call or text

But it’s been 2 hours now I’m a total wreck’

I look at her all gloss no depth and a rage fills me I cannot quell

She sees it too, and takes a knee-high boot step back

I know I’m about to say something I cannot redact,

Its people like you, I foam at the mouth

That make people like me want to die

With your bullshit lies and made up drama

While I suffer daily mental trauma

Do you know it took me all day to shower because the thought of moving made me cower?

I haven’t eaten for days, it’s too painful, to feed the body while my minds disabled

You come to me with your imagined drama and what

You think that’s going to make me calmer

Today was a victory I got of my house

Most days, I’m a prisoner in my house

But the world outside is bright and loud and I can’t bare the deafening sound

Of people whispering as I walk by, like I’m unaware

that I haven’t brushed my teeth or hair

So, don’t come to me dressed as a friend when your vapid crap

Makes me want to put an end

To the pain in every second of my life

She is stunned, taken back, her face now matching the shade on her lips

hands on her hips

she fires back, with drone like precision

‘you’re a mental bitch

if I were you were in the chair I’d happily flip the switch

you look like shit and you judge me

your Primark, I’m Givenchy

but I guess that’s all you’ll ever afford, while you’re draining the state

because your too lazy to work’

I’m standing now, rage shaking harder than the anxiety I actually harbour

She’s the first person other than me I’ve wanted to murder

I grab my bag and it knocks over my tea

Which spills as if my will was at helm

It runs across the table counter and deposits itself all over her Prada

She’s shocked, I smile

Oh, no I say clearly not caring

While she despairing over the possession her husband earned her

Have I made you depressed with an accidental spill of my tea?

I guess you are right babe, your just like me.

 

END


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