Day 11: I Didn’t Expect This.

I have experienced something today I didn’t even think about, it honestly never crossed my mind that it would happen.

I didn’t want to write. AT ALL.

Honestly the thought of it made me roll my eyes, it honestly bored me. I had an idea that I really liked for the multimedia challenge 28 Plays Later: Challenge 11 (Gabriella and Richard) and I really enjoyed the idea of writing it. I didn’t feel frustrated with the writing process like with the murder mystery challenge. I just did not want to write, it felt like a chore, I had zero motivation. If I am completely honest, I think my ego and pride are the only things that stopped me from saying, ‘Screw this I’m out.’

I briefly explained this to the person I send my submissions too and he told me it sounded completely natural and that I just had to push through it and the passion would come back. I hope he’s right. I am of course going to keep writing, I know I love it, I’m just not liking it at the moment.

Another curious thing today is I felt lonely. After a week of having no privacy because baba was sick, I was very excited for some alone time, even if it did come with a virus but today I felt genuinely lonely. In the sense of I wanted a partner, I felt lonely romantically, which is something I rarely feel, I can sometimes think, Oh wouldn’t it be nice to have someone etc but those thoughts are fleeting (and usually after watching Daryl in TWD) but I actually felt lonely today, which is very strange to me. I didn’t talk to anyone about it because honestly I didn’t see the difference it would make. I don’t know if it is because its February and every wear I look I’m having hearts rammed down my throat, or maybe it’s because I’ve felt ill and a little vulnerable, wishing someone were here to help take the edge off? Or the fact I’ve been writing a romantic play today with my ideal man as one of the characters? Maybe its a mixture or maybe its none of those things, I’m not sure. But today has been a weird bag of rocks, I can tell you!

I couldn’t even think of a photo for the blog, so I chose a picture I took yesterday because I like it and it weirdly reflects how I’m feeling today.

Any writers reading this I would be really interested to know if you go through wanting to do anything else but write? Is it a normal part of the process?

Any other single parents out there experience this?

Please let me know in the comments, I’d be very interested to read your thoughts.

Tomorrows assignment is to write a play about how language is changing with abbreviations and emojis etc. I’m already thinking about ideas but I’ll wait until its fully formed before I share. I will tell you this, I miss people using full words, I dislike abbreviations in general (she says after shortening The Walking Dead to TWD two minutes ago!) and it vex’s me when people talk or write in text short hand, so I think you might have an idea where tomorrows plays heading!

Until then,

Be kind to each other, Be kind to yourselves.


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