I have completed the challenge!
My apologies for my absence I was battling a nasty throat infection, I did however, somehow manage to keep writing the plays for the challenge, I just collapsed and forgot to share them, so here they are. I will put them in reverse order, so the first one you see is todays. I’ll also give a brief explanation of what the prompts were – enjoy!
Today’s prompt was 8291, which is the reverse of 1928, our first challenge.
Paid in Full
28th February 2017
The stage is set as a living room of an elderly couple, Marsha (82) and Louise (91). They are wealthy and have a wonderful house. They are sat eating scones.
Pass the jam please love
Here you go sweetheart. This is nice, isn’t it?
Yeah, I have to say I love being old, nothing really means much, do you know what I mean?
Nothing matters? That’s a little insulting to me honey. Why didn’t you tell me you felt like this?
Don’t be daft you great wally. I don’t mean it like that.
I don’t understand.
I mean, we have spent a lot of our lives living well by society standards. We have been healthy, I mean we still go to water aerobics. We have been prudent and lived brilliant lives. But there were always those things that seemed to matter like invisible rules.
Honey, I love you but I don’t think you are firing on all cylinders right now.
(laughing) Thanks! My wife ladies and gentlemen!
Don’t be a drama queen. I just mean you sound a bit…
No not… well yes, 1KG fruit and nut bar
(They both burst out laughing)
1KG fruit and nut bar?
First thing that came into my head.
Chocolate. Why am I not surprised?
I can’t help it, you know how much I love a bit of choc
Or a kilogram. I know and oddly that’s my point. Remember how when we were younger, we wanted to do the right thing?
You mean not break the law?
Hahahahahahaha, no I mean, we wanted to eat well, to work hard, fit in. So, we could live our lives, be happy and healthy. Not make too much fuss, not always saying what was on our minds, or standing up for ourselves every time?
I think I’m starting to understand you!
It’s like our whole lives we have been paying our dues and saving up for something, but we never knew what or when
The times come to collect?
Exactly! I don’t care for invisible rules anymore. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying I regret anything, in fact living the way we have has made us happy and healthy and in the position, we are in now. They led us to each other and gave us the lives we have had together
That’s such a beautiful thing to say. I understand, it doesn’t matter anymore, we are in the ‘winter’ of our lives, as people say. We have looked after ourselves and made a lot of sensible choices.
Yes, and now we can do whatever we want! I can have as much bloody jam on my scone as I want, I’ve got nothing left to worry about. It’s like going to work when you have given your notice in, what are they going to do if you misbehave, fire you?
Maybe we could aim higher than jam though?
We could make people super uncomfortable by snogging everywhere we go?
I like were your heads at. We could alternate from being lovey old biddies to shouting for no reason!
Oh! We could pretend not to be able to hear people and when they raise their voice say, ‘No need to shout! I’m not deaf!’
We can wear crazy clothes and spit in the street!
We can be ‘the crazy ladies’!
I love you so much!
I love you too!
I wonder if anybody else has come across this idea?
Yesterdays challenge was to repeat one of our previous challenges but with a new idea, I choose to repeat Challenge 13, the stream of conscious monologue.
The Phoenix, The Me and The Chimp
27th February 2017
When I feel, hopeless I let Phoenix take over, it sounds a little crazy when I say it out loud. Let me explain. Phoenix is a creation of mine, she is everything I want to be, she is strong and fierce, she is wise and doesn’t take shit from anyone. Still sounds a little insane and maybe it is but you know how we all have that chatter box in our heads, some people call it the chimp. Well I have the chimp, me and the phoenix. When it all is getting a little crazy, I look in the mirror and tell the chimp were to go, I can actually be found yelling into the mirror to ‘fuck off’ at my own face regularly. I get the feeling the more I’m explaining this the weirder it sounds but honestly, what’s crazier? Sitting and listening to everything negative your brain shouts at you and accepting it as fact or labelling it as an enemy in your head and challenge the bull crap its spouting at you? By having phoenix, I can make good choices, not always of course, I’m human. But I find that by having a friend in my head I am kinder to myself and I chose the phoenix because of its obvious symbolism. So obviously, they are all me, I don’t have three different people living in my head but some of the things we say to ourselves are truly shocking and hurtful, we would never speak those words to a friend, so why do we treat ourselves so poorly? I guess it comes from sayings like, ‘Who do you think you are? Etc. but let me tell you, since phoenix’s’ inception in my brain, I find myself so much more pleasant and by extension it makes me a better person to the people in my life that matter and to the people who could. She’s a wonderful friend and of course she is me, so I become a wonderful friend to myself, which means I can fill my cup up and then give from that cup. Of course, the chimp is sneaky and sometimes it can do a very good impersonation of phoenix and I can be fooled be it doesn’t take long to detect the difference in their tones. So maybe, just maybe this makes me 10 percent crazier than before in other people’s minds but in my mind, I feel saner, I’d rather listen to a friend, even when they are helping me with painful truths than listen to an enemy trying to disguise their words in order to keep me down. Hopefully this makes sense to you and you can all find your phoenixes because everybody deserves a best friend in their head. The best part is by listening to the person you one day hope to be, that day is already here, you are listening to your potential and agreeing, you are looking at yourself with a truthful eye, like nobody else can, you are giving yourself a big hug and saying, ‘I forgive you, I believe in you and I love you’
For this challenege we had to edit down by exactly half one of our previous plays, I choose my beat poem, ‘Just Like Me’
Just Like Me. (Edited)
26th February 2017
she sees me. tall, elegant from the pages of vogue
And she knows
‘Hi babe!’, she says in voice so forced, it would give a Jedi reason to pause
‘I need to tell you, cos I care, you know I do, that ever ones concerned about you, ‘Cos no one’s seen you in like weeks and there’s no updates on any of your feeds
is it your ‘thing’ again’
I’m combusting, in my head I scream
you mean my mental illness, the thing that steals me
And holds me under water, so that I can’t be
A friend, a lover, a sister, a daughter
The thing that makes me crave self-slaughter
Instead I look to her and nod my head
‘You see, I have depression too, I’m just like you
And FML I had anxiety too, can you believe
When I didn’t hear from Steve,
He said he’d, call or text
But it’s been 2 hours now I’m a total wreck’
a rage fills me I cannot quell
She sees it too, and takes a knee-high boot step back
I know I’m about to say something I cannot redact,
Its people like you, That make people like me want to die
Do you know it took me all day to shower because the thought of moving made me cower?
I haven’t eaten for days, it’s too painful, to feed the body while my minds disabled
don’t come to me dressed as a friend when your vapid crap
Makes me want to put an end
To the pain in every second of my life
she fires back,
‘you’re a mental bitch
if I were you were in the chair I’d happily flip the switch
you look like shit and you judge me
I’m standing now, rage shaking harder than the anxiety I actually harbour
She’s the first person other than me I’ve wanted to murder
I grab my bag and it knocks over my tea
Which spills as if my will was at helm
She’s shocked, I smile
Oh, no I say clearly not caring
Have I made you depressed with an accidental spill of my tea?
I guess you are right babe, your just like me.
For this challenge, we had to re-edit one of our favourite challenges, I choose to spend a little more time on, ‘Boundary Issues’
Boundary Issues (Second Draft)
25th February 2017
John (office manager, 45-55)
Jennifer (early twenties)
The stage is set as an office with three desks. Stage left is Margaret’s desk. She has lots of photo frames and inspirational cat pictures dotted around her. There is a pink mosaic pen pot with a variety of brightly coloured pens. Stage right is Max’s desk, it has nothing of personal merit to it except a pot plant that looks very old and close to death. Stage centre is Jennifer’s desk, it looks extremely neat and clean with lots of copper and marble embellishments. enter John and Lucile, John has his arm around Lucile in a manner inappropriate for the work place.
Good Morning everyone! If I could just snag your attention for a quick minute. I would like to introduce lovely Lucile. Lucile is going to be our new administrator, she has Tammie’s old office next door, so if you need to find her, now she can’t hide! (everyone laughs, Lucile smiles and nods) I’ll introduce you to the team.
This is Margaret, she’s been here 15 years, kind of the mother hen (quietly) she always has brownies in the top drawer if you know what I mean)
Margaret stands up and get uncomfortably close to Lucile, she speaks far too loud.
What a genuine pleasure, its lovely to meet you Lucy!
Oh, I’m so sorry, what a hideously awful snafu!
That’s ok, happens more often than you think actually.
If you need anything, just let me know!
Thank you, it was lovely to meet you (Lucy holds her hand out, Margaret looks at her hand and then pulls her in for a bear hug)
Moving on this is Jennifer, she was the new girl before you.
I’ve been here four years John! (To Lucile) He’s such a kidder! Oh, my God! I love your sweater! (Jennifer starts feeling Lucile’s sweater) and your skin and hair are amazing (Jennifer now starts stroking Lucile’s hair and skin)
(completely taken back) Err thank you
You’re so sweet! Come on, bring it in for the real thing
I’m sor… (Jennifer has already embraced Lucile in a bear hug) Oh, ok (The hug lasts a good seven seconds)
I can already tell we are going to be soul sisters!
(nodding in confusion) Yay
Look at that my two new girls getting on like a house on fire! Shall I introduce you to Max?
No! she’s all mine!
Err, yeah, yes, that would be fine, great, thank you.
So over here we have max
Hi Max, I’m L…
Lucile! Hi! It’s weird because my grandmother was called Lucile, wonderful woman. Tough as an ox and I mean that literally, she actually fought an ox once.
She actually killed an ox?
Oh, God no! She was doing well for a while but that thing (laughing uncontrollably) straight up murdered and maimed her, yeah it was gross to be honest. She did say she would be back one day though and here you are the living re-incarnation of my dead granny! It’s weird, kind of like when you are sat next to someone you are watching on TV.
Huh? I’m sorry, I don’t follow, or understand, anything you just said actually.
You are still a kidder grandma! Look, here are your ashes (Max picks up an urn off his desk and shows Lucile, in his excitement he drops the Urn and ashes go everywhere, including on Lucile) Oh my god! You are telling me it’s true, aren’t you? Look you are drawn to yourself!
Lucile stands in shock
John, could you please tell me where the toilets are, I’m going to need to go and…
Woah, Lucile, this is a professional work environment, we don’t need or want to know your personal bathroom habits.
Lucile looks completely shocked, she goes to say something, thinks better of it and storms off the stage,
Can you say, ‘Boundary Issues?’
For this challenge, we had to write a play not using English. As I don’t speak another language I choose to write a play about two mimes discovering the Rosetta Stone and then I did a dodgy google translation into Arabic for good measure. My sincere apologies to anyone who speaks the language!
حجر رشيد في مايم
24th February 2017
العتاد والتمثيل الصامت التقليدي، ومهدت الطريق كما تومي المتربة، samd وأنقاض في كل مكان. يرون الحجر الجميل في منتصف satge، رمح الضوء ينير له كما لو كانت مشهدا من فيلم رهيب كليشيهات archeoligy. يمشون حتى الحجر، وعلى اتصال به. شاشة فواصل خالية من الحائط وراء وبينهم وكلمة كبيرة – يظهر “الترجمة”. أنها تأخذ هناك تسليم وإيقاف الشاشة تذوب مرة أخرى إلى الحائط. انهم يفعلون ذلك عدة مرات، وآخر مرة صوت المزدهر مع صوت سيدة الانفاق في لندن يقول: “الترجمة”. انها تلمس غروند وكلمة التغييرات – ‘الرمال “مع امرأة أخرى تقول كلمة، وبعد عدة مرات من بينها لمس أشياء مختلفة معهم يجري على حد سواء المنصوص عليها المنطوقة، فإنها تبدأ في التمثيل الصامت قصة اثنين من التمثيليات الصامتة إيجاد قبر مع الحجر الذي يقول: “الترجمة” عندما لمسها. بعد أن تتعب من هذا أنها مايم الحكايات الشعبية القديمة أيضا استخدام أفراد الجمهور كما الدعائم. لمن الواضح فرحان.
athnyn mimas syra ealaa al’aqdam ealaa khashabat almasrah fi aleatad walttamthil alssamit alttaqlidii, wamahhadtt alttariq kama tumi almutribat, samd wa’anqad fi kl makan. yarawn alhajar aljamil fi muntasaf satge, ramh alddaw’ yunir lah kama law kanat mashhadaan min film ruhib kulishihat archeoligy. yamshun hatta alhijr, waealaa aittisal bih. shashat fawasil khaliat min alhayit wara’ wabaynahum wakalimat kabirat – yuzhir “alttarjamata”. ‘annaha takhudh hunak taslim wa’iiqaf alshshashat tadhub mrtan akhra ‘iilaa alhayita. ‘annahum yafealun dhlk edt marratin, wakhar marrat sawt almuzdahir mae sawt sayidat al’iinfaq fi landan yaqwl: “alttarjimata”. ‘annaha talmus gharund wakalimat alttaghyirat – ‘alrramal “me aimra’at ‘ukhraa taqul kalmatan, wabaed edt marrat min bayniha lams ‘ashya’ mukhtalifat maeahum yajri ealaa hadd swa’ almansus ealayha almuntuqat, fa’innaha tabda fi alttamthil alssamit qissat athnyn min alttamthiliaat alssamitat ‘iijad qabr mae alhajar aldhy yaqwl: “alttarjmat” eindama lamasha. baed ‘an tattaeib mn hdha ‘annaha miayim alhikayat alshshaebiat alqadimat ‘aydaan aistikhdam ‘afrad aljumhur kama alddaeayimi. liman alwadih farhan.
To be honest, I have little memory of writing this challenge, I was really out of it and it has to be said, it reads like it but in the spirit of sharing what I wrote, here it is…
How to Murder Shakespeare in Two Horrible Minutes.
22nd February 2017
I find thee apt;
And duller shouldst thou be than the fat weed
That roots itself in ease on Lethe wharf,
Wouldst thou not stir in this. Now, Hamlet, hear:
‘Tis given out that, sleeping in my orchard,
A serpent stung me; so the whole ear of Denmark
Is by a forged process of my death
Rankly abused: but know, thou noble youth,
The serpent that did sting thy father’s life
Now wears his crown.
O my prophetic soul! My uncle!
Hey, I’m really sorry to interrupt, just can I borrow you? I know this is a little weird, just somethings been on my mind and I wondered if you might come with me and have a chat with someone? I’d bring you right back?
Who art though that interrupts?
Oh, me? Yeah, I’m an … angel who hast been senteth to quarry you to a most holy purpose.
An angel? Sent to guide me in this most tumultuous time?
Hamlet, the serpent?
I promise we will deal with the rank abuser, just two minutes?
A holy purpose thou professes
Anon father, I shall return
Hold your hands,
Both you of my inclining, and the rest:
Were it my cue to fight, I should have known it
Without a prompter. Where will you that I go
To answer this your charge?
Hi! Sorry didn’t mean to make anyone jump. Othello, I have someone who needs to talk to you urgently, its important. Oh, and speaking of not needing a prompter, hold on to that thought, come with me (she touches his arm and they vanish.)
Ok, let’s talk guys. Hamlet, this is Othello, Othello this is Hamlet. I have a question for each of you, first Othello. If someone murdered your father to take his crown, what would your instinct be?
Blood! I would strike him down, seek vengeance and restore honour to my father.
Lovely, you catch that Hamlet?
For sooth, the moor is right
Yeah, he is. And if we take his advice nobody needs to go insane, or kill random people. So, that’s a win win!
You speak most strangely
Yeah, I know, try not to focus on that. Ok Hamlet, your turn.
Let’s say you have married a woman you love and trust beyond reproach and then your shady friend-
Do you speak of fair Iago?
Let’s not worry about adjectives right now, although the fact that his name is the first that comes to you, I think says something, but honestly dude, the guys trouble and is diagnosable. Anyway Hamlet, so love of your life, your friend tells you she is cheating on you, do you a. straight up murder her or b. maybe have a conversation and let her tell her side of the story, then realise you are friends with an ass hat
Huzzah! Ass hat!
Yes, it’s very funny but I have like, two minutes left, your answer please
I would question my friend and speak to the maiden.
You hear that Othello?
The point is understood
(Hamlet and Othello start to disappear)
Hamlet: Thank you angel for your council
Othello: I shall trust your guidance on this matter
Writer: Well, I’ve just murdered two classics but least my hunch was correct. I can’t see them staging this though, doesn’t quite pack the same punch. Oh well, at least I’ll know and its lasagne tonight – so win win.
So, they you are, all caught up! Seriously congratulations if you made it this far, there were a lot of words!